A reflection on the Tech Ladies webinar “Make Work Work For You: How to Hold It Down (Instead of Burning It Down),” hosted by Grace Fabian. In today’s hustle-driven work culture, we talk a lot about quitting — quitting toxic jobs, bad bosses, or unsustainable careers. And while those exits can be necessary and even lifesaving, we don’t talk nearly enough about what it means to stay. Especially when staying isn’t about giving up, but about choosing to hold it down, intentionally and on your own terms.
That was the focus of a recent Tech Ladies webinar led by Grace Fabian; and it hit a nerve.
The session offered space to be honest about what’s not working at work without the pressure to make an immediate, dramatic leap. Instead, it invited us to pause, reflect, and build a little more breathing room — not by fixing everything, but by clarifying what we actually want out of this moment. Sometimes that means staying. But not indefinitely, and not at all costs.
Grace offered a simple yet powerful Mad Lib to help frame that clarity:
✍️ “I am choosing to stay for [amount of time] so that [reason].”
It sounds small, but articulating this can shift how you show up each day. It creates boundaries, intention, and a personal exit strategy; even if that “exit” is just a shift in perspective.
Here are a few examples:
This kind of framing doesn’t mean settling.
It means choosing to stay with intention, rather than out of fear, confusion, or inertia. It’s about being honest with yourself: what do you want to get out of this moment, and what do you need to protect in order to get there?
Maybe it’s time, maybe it’s money, maybe it’s mental energy. Framing your choice to stay creates a boundary; not just around your time or workload, but around your emotional investment. You stop giving more than you’re willing to lose. You stop trying to turn a frustrating job into a perfect one. And in doing so, you give yourself permission to operate in a way that’s more sustainable, strategic, and self-respecting. This shift can help transform your current role into something more manageable or give you the clarity and energy you need to begin exploring new opportunities.
Big thanks to Grace for guiding the conversation with such clarity and care. If you ever find yourself feeling stuck, I highly recommend taking a few minutes to fill in the Mad Lib for yourself.
If you are thinking about leaving but unsure what’s next, Book a free exploration chat with Grace! You’ll get clear on what you want and what it will take to get there. You can also follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram for more empowered career development goodies.
Resources for women in tech, and the companies that want to build inclusive workplaces where they can thrive.
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